


Call off the search for your sould (or put it on hold again)

by xofunghoul



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Love at First Sight, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xofunghoul/pseuds/xofunghoul
Summary: Joe is in an unfamiliar city, in an unfamiliar bar and gets curious about a perfect strager.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	Call off the search for your sould (or put it on hold again)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Just_Call_Me_Floss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Call_Me_Floss/gifts).



> Listen to this [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/5TTGoX70AFrTvuEtqHK37S) while reading.

The bar where he’s sat at, in a booth in the far back, is dark and half empty and it smells like cheap liquor and smoke. It shouldn’t smell like smoke, people are not supposed to smoke indoors but they do here and that would have been a deciding factor for Joe to never set foot in a place like that, and he was going to do exactly that. The booze is terrible and the music isn’t great either so he thought that that was his first and last time there. But he keeps coming back, night after night, because his now usual seat gives him a direct view to the bar. And that’s where he first spots him. 

Right when he was about to finish the disgusting drink he had in his hands and head home, he looked up from the glass and caught a glance of a blond at the bar, half bent over it, greeting the bartender with a quick hug before he settled and not a minute later, without asking, he has his drink in front of him and a lit cigarette on his lips. 

Joe didn’t know what it was but he couldn’t look away. Well he did know what it was actually. The man might be one of the most gorgeous creatures he’s ever seen and he’s fascinated. 

So his plans of never setting foot in that filthy bar change when 12 hours later in the bright light of day, he can’t stop thinking about the blond in the brown bomber jacket and combed back hair and that night, he’s there again. And so is the blond. But he doesn’t do anything other than watch him because after an hour there’s a girl next to him. He buys her a drink, she laughs too hard at his jokes and they leave together not long after that.

You would think that this would be a sign and that he should have stuck to his original plan of never returning to this place. He would think the same. Yet night after night for a month, he sits at that booth at the back of the bar with that perfect view and watches the blond leave with a different person each night. 

It makes him angry. It makes him drink more every night. 

_What if I try?_

_What if I stop?_

Tonight is different from every night he’s been here. The blond is at the bar as usual, but he’s been drinking alone for the past two hours. His only company, the bartender who he chats with whenever he’s not busy. Joe waits. People stop by but no one stays for long. And he doesn’t leave with any of them. _Maybe he’s not picking anyone tonight…_ Joe thinks. _Maybe… I could try. After all, it’s not like I want to fall in love with him, I just want to know-- how he feels like._

And he downs his drink.

And he puts it down.

And he gets up. 

With a firm step - as firm as he can after two hours of drinking - He walks to the bar and sits a stool away from the blond. 

“Two vodka sodas, please,” He asks and looks at the bartender and then at the blond and the bartender nods, giving the blond a quick look, then moving to prepare the drinks and hand them. 

“Thanks, mate” The blond man nods at him with his drink in hand and gives it a sip. Joe nods back and does the same. 

There’s a moment of silence. The blond doesn’t seem remotely interested. Doesn’t even ask why he bought him the drink, doesn’t even look at him more than once. Nothing. Then, he should say something. He’s come here, bought the drink. He’s clearly the interested one. So why can’t him? 

Joe downs this drink quickly, licking his lips after and waits for a moment to let it hit him after the burning but slightly sweet sensation down his throat. He shakes his head, a slight buzz there now and it’s all he needs to turn to the blond. 

“I think I might know you from somewhere,” He blurts out, head turned to the blond and he looks back at Joe for a moment. The seconds tick loudly in his ears and he just realized he knows nothing about this man and where they could have possibly met and doesn’t know what excuse he’s going to give out if he asks where. But he doesn’t.

“I don’t think so.” He deadpans and Joe nods again and looks back at his empty glass now. 

Silence again. 

Well, that was a long shot anyway and Joe is drunk, and humiliated now, so he better collect the little dignity he has left and just make a graceful exit to never to never set foot in that place again. He pays for the drinks and makes his way out without looking back. Outside, he stands by the bar’s wall, head resting back and eyes closed, catching his breath while he debates if he should call a cab or walk home at 3am. 

“Wanna go for a walk?” Joe hears, followed by the click of a lighter and he opens his eyes and turns his head towards the voice, wondering if he’s too drunk he’s imagining this when he sees the blond standing in front of him. 

“Sure,” but he answers without a second of hesitation and follows wherever the blond leads him. 

The cold air hits his warm cheeks as they roam the city in silence and Joe’s feeling all kinds of confused but can’t help but keep walking. In his mind, he's going through a million things he wants to say. Talk about how he’s watched him this whole time. Tell him he keeps coming back to that bar because of him. Ask him a million questions. 

“You know,” His thoughts are interrupted by that voice again, that deep sweet voice. Joe dreamt about that voice for the past month, about actually hearing it close. Hear it directed towards him. And in all that time he never imagined it to be this perfect. “After watching me for weeks, I thought you’d do more than just buy me a drink and leave,”

_Fuck._

What does he do now? Joe remains silent while the million thoughts running through his mind suddenly multiply by another million. It’s like this guy is training his brain for a marathon because he makes it run and run and stress and perhaps, if he wasn’t this drunk he would possibly be having a panic attack. Typically Joe would have something to say now. He prides himself on being quick witted and he usually has an answer to everything, a jab, anything. But now he sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he says, hands deep in his pocket, teeth digging into the inside of his bottom lip and eyes trained on the top of his boots. The blond man says nothing to that but he feels him watching. “They made it look easy-- I thought maybe I could do it too. Just come up to you and you’d take me wherever you take them,” 

They come to a stop on their walk and Joe doesn’t exactly know where they are but a minute ago they walked over a bridge and now, the man made a stop in the middle of it, a river and the city night by their side. It’s a great view and he makes it all the more beautiful and Joe really wants to kiss him. 

“You didn’t seem interested.” Joe continues and shakes his head, turning to lean over the bridge and look somewhere that isn’t the blond before he starts staring. 

“You didn’t say anything interesting,” He takes a pack of cigarettes and takes out one, lits it quickly, taking a long drag and exhaling a cloud of smoke into the crisp air of the night, then turns around and imitates Joe’s position, resting his forearms on the bridge and looks at him. He takes another drag, a quicker one this time and blows the smoke away from Joe’s face. “well-?” he asks, his head tilted to the side. “I’m sure you got more than ‘I think I know you from somewhere’, come on,”

“Did you just bring me out here to mock me? Because I think I humiliated myself enough tonight for you to give it a go too, thanks,” 

Joe steps back from the bridge and gives this beautiful asshole a last look before he walks away. He doesn’t even know where he is or where he’s supposed to go, this isn’t his city. He’s been here a couple of times but never at night and never drunk and alone this late. But he’d rather walk aimlessly for a while than go back to his place and end the night by admitting defeat. So much for trying things without a plan. That’s not who he is. He plans everything to a T. Everything has a place and a time. But not _him_. Not whenever he walked into that bar to see him. And it felt freeing somehow. 

“I wasn’t trying to humiliate you,” he hears behind him and turns his head so fast it almost started spinning. “maybe we can start again? And maybe you can stop walking away from me?” The blond pauses while Joe examines his face and tries to figure out if he’s pulling his leg right now or if he’s seriously trying to talk to him. “I’m Ben,” 

“Joe,” he turns around again and starts walking and is glad that the blond man, Ben, is following him. 

“Where are you from?”

“New York,” 

“Fancy,” Joe turns his head and Ben seems to be smiling. Or smirking. _Is he playing him?_ “Why are you here then, Joe?”

Joe sighs deeply. “umm, vacation. Just taking a break from everything.” Do half truths count as a truth or a lie? 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Ben shrugs with his hands stuck in his jacket, cigarette long gone again but Joe has a feeling it won’t be the last. 

“Why that bar?” Joe asks suddenly and unprompted and looks back quizzically at Ben. 

“Oh the pub? Cheap booze, easy people.” 

Joe snorts a laugh and shakes his head. “I don’t think you’d have any problem picking up people anywhere,” He says before he can stop himself but when he looks back at Ben, expecting a smug look, he’s blushing instead. 

“What about you? Why that pub?” Ben counter asks him and Joe sighs again as they keep walking nowhere. 

“I wanted a drink one night, saw it, got in, thought it was disgusting and was about to leave,” Joe mumbles quickly looking down, then up at Ben. “and then I saw you,”

“What about me?”

They hold their gaze for a few seconds and Joe looks away and stays silent. _He’s gonna make me say it, isn't he?_ Joe wonders if this is what Ben wants. If he gets off on people telling him how beautiful he is. If he’ll sleep with anyone who compliments him. And if he will, then why not try it himself. After all, that’s all he wants, right? _It’s not like I’m falling in love or anything_. He tells himself again. Just one night, let him lose his mind. 

“I thought you were one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life,” Joe blurts out first and then looks back at Ben. 

He’s not looking back. And he’s flushing again. For a moment, he looks like someone who doesn’t get complimented very often and Joe is growing more and more confused by the second. And curious too. What does he want anyway?

They don’t talk for a while after that. They just walk aimlessly through the sleeping city and further into the night that’s slowly going to sleep as well, just like everyone else. Soon, morning will find them lost in silence and thought, remnants of what the night left behind for the sun to see when it comes up. 

Joe notices they’re slowly coming back to where the pub is and he knows how to get to his place from there and so he starts going in that direction, leading the way now and Ben follows suit without question. 

A few blocks more and Joe notices he’s fumbling through his pockets. Another cigarette for sure.

“Do you mind if I take your picture?” 

Ben doesn’t have a cigarette in his hand, instead, he has his phone. Joe squints his eyes. 

“Why?” 

Ben shrugs, “The dawning light suits you,” 

Joe watches the blond and hesitates but ends up nodding and stepping away a little as Ben does too. And in that moment he knew that he would do anything this man asked him right now. Anything. 

He doesn’t know exactly what to do. He looks at the phone. And down. And away. And waits. Ben doesn’t say anything and after a few clicks he’s walking up to him. Closer and closer. Closer than he’s been all night, so close their shoes are almost touching. Joe notices they’re actually the same height even if it felt like Ben was taller than him. Or maybe it was just his mind, idealizing this perfect stranger. 

“They’re good,” Ben nods, swiping through the pictures in a way Joe can see them too but all Joe can see is his lips so close to his own and feel his breath just over his face. 

“If you say so,” 

“I can send them over to you-- if you give me your number,” Ben hands him the phone and looks up at him.

“Is this your move?” Joe asks. He doesn’t take the phone. “you could’ve just asked for my number, didn’t need to take the pictures,” 

Ben seems irritated by the accusation so he locks his phone and puts it away. He starts walking again. Obviously, Joe follows after he swallows hard. Did he just hurt Ben’s feelings? They haven’t even kissed and he’s already hurting the blond? That has to be some kind of record. 

“You could’ve just asked me out, didn’t need to buy me a drink and fuck off,” _Touche_ , “But no, that wasn’t a move. I like taking pictures.” 

Silence again and Joe feels like shit. But the night is coming to an end and just around the block is his hotel. Then they’ll never have to see each other again and tonight will be just a weird blip in Joe’s mind. Although he has a feeling it’ll be a while until he can forget today. 

So he takes a few steps past Ben and crosses the street and a minute later, they’re by the hotel’s entrance. 

“Well, this is me,” Joe states and they’re standing in front of each other, both looking down at their shoes but then Joe looks up, “Sorry for wasting your time,” Ben doesn’t look up. 

Joe turns around and is about to head inside when he feels Ben’s hand on his arm grabbing him and turning him around. That hand moves to his lower back and his other hand comes up to cup his face and then, he’s finally tasting those pink full lips he’s been dreaming about for weeks, that he’s been wanting to taste all night. He closes his eyes and gets lost in it. Melts in Ben’s arms so much he feels like he’s going to turn into liquid at his feet so he clings to him, grabbing at his jacket just to feel like he’s real, he’s there in his physical form. 

The kiss is different from every other kiss Joe has had in his life. It makes him feel like it’s the first time he’s been kissed. Like there was a right way of kissing and he’s only finding out now that he’s been doing it wrong all this time. But if it took him 36 years of wrong kisses to finally find the right one, it was definitely worth the wait. He didn’t know that a kiss should make you feel like you are not the owner of your own body. That you have to feel it fill spaces you didn’t know were empty. Joe certainly did not know a kiss could change you. Change your life forever. 

When they break away from the kiss, Ben is still holding his face close and looking into his eyes and Joe is close to running away because it’s possible that no one has ever looked at him this intensely and it makes his stomach turn and his throat close. 

“I wanted you to come up to me,” Ben whispers, “I was waiting all night. I sent everyone away. I wanted to see if you’d finally get the courage to come talk to me,” 

“I-- ” Joe doesn’t know what to say.

“Come back again tomorrow and maybe we can start again,” 

“Why me?”

“No one’s ever come back for me before, they never do. I give them what they want and that’s that. And even if I don’t, they move on. Not you.”

“What if I do?”Joe asks and he can feel his heart right in his throat, “What if you give me what I want and that’s that?”

“Can’t wait to find out,” Ben smiles and brings him back in for another kiss before he lets him go and starts walking back, with his eyes still on Joe. Then turns around and Joe watches him get lost into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Please let me know what you think!


End file.
